Thoughts of a Madman
Written by Dan Shemley
Lately I have had time to reflect and also to think. A rare occurrence in itself, lots of things have come to my mind. Mostly I tend to wonder about the meaning of my life. I mean hell, I’m not the greatest at anything and I often wonder why I was put on this earth. The answer came to me one night after a party at which someone was killed.
I thought to myself about how he had been killed.
The police had told us that he was stabbed over 30 times with a very sharp knife. I could remember the feeling it gave to hear something like that /cool, knives are fun/ The idea of someone being killed like that was strangely arousing to me. Something in the back of my mind was telling me I had something to do with what happened to that poor guy.
I could remember that a few weeks ago I had gone to a psychiatrist about a problem and he told me that I had multiple personalities. He had given me some drugs to keep my alter from emerging and doing bad things. The pills weren’t that bad, I had to take one every 6 hours to keep from losing control. That night at the party I had forgotten to take my pill because I rushed out of the house on my way there. It was my last grad party before graduation, so everyone was going all out and drinking an awful lot of booze.
This is how I remember things.
I was hanging out with my friends near the speakers and listening to the music while I had my second drink of the night. I noticed that Jordan and Becky had arrived separately and they weren’t talking to each other for a long time. I didn’t really pay much attention to them because I was focused on playing quarters with Bob.
Between drinks and flipping the quarter, I saw that Jordan and Becky went into on of the bedrooms and stayed in there for a really long time. I think they were in that room for the better part of an hour. I didn’t much notice when Becky ran out of the room and out the front door because I had my face full of nacho cheese.
I saw Jordan walk out of the room and followed him cuz I wanted to know what he and Becky were talking about in that room. Seeing as Becky was my best friend I thought I should know if there was any kind of problem between the two of them. That way I could patch things up for them, afterall they were the homecoming king and queen. I went over and started talking with Jordan about Becky and he went on about how he loved her and wouldn’t hurt her, he had just been upset about his parents divorcing. I took his reason to heart, his parents had been together for over twenty years, it must have been tough on him to be going through that. I left Jordan standing on the balcony while I searched to find Becky to get her side of the story before I came to any conclusions.
I found her sitting in the room that the two of them had gone into. She was hunched over and sobbing into a pillow that was on her lap. I walked over to her and kneeled on the ground and asked what was wrong. Between sobs and sniffles she looked up and started telling me what had happened when they went into the bedroom
Jordan had asked her why she wouldn’t have sex with him after they’d been together for 3 months. I knew that she wouldn’t until she got married and I thought she’d told him that before they started dating. She went on about how he’d overpowered her and forced her onto the bed and took her clothes off. He had taken his own off and then raped her. After he finished with her he told her that if she didn’t start doing that willingly that he’d keep on forcing her until she gave in.
I could feel my blood boiling the whole time she was talking. I had trusted Jordan when he had said that he'd never hurt Becky, but he lied! TO ME! He and I had been friends since the first grade and he told me that they had only talked. I felt like I was going to explode with anger and do something stupid. I managed to control myself and offered to help her to her car and make sure she didn’t have to see Jordan for a long time. I instructed her as we walked that when she got home to call the police and tell them what happened and to go to the hospital and get an exam done to see how badly she was hurt.
I helped her into the car and re-assured her that everything would be all right. I let her know that I would stop by her house in an hour to make sure she was okay. It was right after I helped Becky to her car that I saw Jordan standing on the balcony making out with some other girl, he hurt Becky and cheats on her! I felt a terrible headache and passed out on the ground, at least, that's what I thought I did.
I'm Greg. I take over Phil's body when he's going to do something and I protect him by doing things for him. That night I was the one who killed Jordan. He hurt one of Phil’s friends and for that he had to pay with his life. I do things to make his life easier. Whether or not they are legal doesn't bother me, if it makes his life better then it's worth it. This is what happened after he "passed out"
I walked back into the house and grabbed a knife from the kitchen and put it up my shirtsleeve, so no one would notice it. I pushed past anyone that stood in my way until I was at the door to the balcony. I tried to open it but Bob stood in my way and held up a beer glass and said that I had one drink left to go in his and Phil’s game of quarters. I downed the drink and shoved him out of the way.
Then I walked out onto the balcony and pushed that stupid bitch out of my way and told Jordan that I wanted to talk to him for a minute. We walked into the bedroom he and Becky had been in and I shut the door and locked it before he could even say a word to me. I looked at him with utter disgust for what he had done to that poor girl. I didn’t really have anything to say to him, I slide the knife out of my sleeve and showed it to him. He thought it was a joke knife and laughed when I said I was going to kill him. He laughed and told me to kill him, that it was only a rubber knife and he wouldn’t get hurt. So I stabbed him, he didn’t look so smug and confident when he saw his blood on the knife.
He tried to run to the door but I got in front of him and stabbed him again. I kept stabbing and slashing with the knife until he stopped moving. Eventually I regained my composure and took a look at what I had done to him. He was bleeding everywhere. And instead of feeling guilty I felt a feeling of accomplishment. I opened the window and looked back at the now dead young man on the floor. I threw the knife out the window and climbed out the window myself, but not before I looked at Jordan’s body again and said, "this is what happens to those who hurt Phil"
A few days later Phil was arrested for Jordan’s murder. I don't regret what I did, but now that he's in jail he'll need my help more often. I have finally discovered why I was put on earth.... To kill.